hello twenty.

You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello

hello saturday.  today was yet another personal record saturday.  20 miles.  twenty toe tingling miles. 
in the beginning, the sun was absent and the air was crisp.  i've enjoyed the fall temperatures.  i've enjoyed pushing myself further than i ever thought i could.  or ever thought i would.  people, i've decided twenty miles ranks up there with childbirth.  if you can run twenty miles, you can dominate childbirth.  both are almost impossible to fully describe, in words, all the vivid feelings and emotions.  how hard they both really were. (i had a hard childbirth so up until today, it was by far the hardest thing i've ever done.)  obviously there is a huge difference though - childbirth gave me best trophy i could ever ask for every single day.  after running twenty miles, i only have the memory.  those who were with me remember but other than that, it's gone.  goodbye miles.  goodbye hours.
i cannot describe how i feel.  i am excited.  scared.  relieved.  happy.  content.  sore.  tired.  strong. i am proud. 
i set an aggressive goal and i met it.  i'm telling you - it feels awesome!  my toes are a little bitter but they'll get over it.  sometimes i think i'm delirious while running.  i can't tell you what all i thought about and some miles are a blur.  isn't that funny?  it's like drunk running.  without alcohol.  drunk off adrenalin.  drunk off motivation.  drunk off determination.  
running is just as much a mental sport as it is a physical one.  i want to express my gratitude to the positive people i have supporting me in this journey.  without you, a marathon might just be a pipe dream but it is my reality.  i'm honored and grateful.  i hope i'll make you proud.


**if someone has a personal massage therapist, please send them my way.  i hope that i can get out of bed in the morning.  james does not care that i ran.  he wants to play.  and dammit - what my baby wants, my baby gets!!